The New "Coalition To Get

by The Spoof

Back on August 15, 2007 Top officials in the US State Department issued a statement entitled 'Increased International Support for Iraq'. The report listed Latvia, Japan, Britain, South Korea, and Denmark among the 25 countries with forces in Iraq. State Department officials were enthusiastically optimistic about 'progress in Iraq'.

"I don't what kind of Kool-Aid they were drinking, or wacky-terbacky they were smoking, but I'm here to tell you they got their frigging mignals sixed." sneered one lower-level career bureaucrat. "Either that or they were knowingly lying out their asses. But then, that's the entire tenor of this administration."

"What we actually have there today is the 'Coalition to Let's Get the F**k out of Dodge', if you'll pardon my French."

The bureaucrat, who refused to identify himself for obvious reasons, went on to comment on what he called the 'march of the Iraqi 'coalitions'.

"Well, first of course we had Bush's famous 'Coalition of the Willing', then before you knew it we had the 'Coalition of the Not Very Damned Sure', then the 'Coalition of the Mighty Damned Reluctant'. Next came the 'Coalition of the Hey, Wait Just a God-Damned Minute!' Then, before much longer it was the 'Coalition of the What The Hell are We doing here?' "

"Now, we've gotten all the way to where they are today. Here's a partial list of the countries who've either gotten their guys out or plan to do so: Spain, Italy, Australia, Latvia, Japan, Denmark, Britain, South Korea, Hungary, Portugal, Singapore, Norway, Ukraine, Netherlands, Slovakia, Nicaragua, Dominican Republic, Honduras, Philippines, Thailand, New Zealand, and Tonga."